From the recordings Everything I've Got and Out of My Shell
Anxiety sucks — especially stage anxiety. And when your dream is to be a touring musician, it can feel like the ultimate contradiction. I’ve come a long way from where I started, but I know not everyone is that lucky. So here’s my story.
I grew up in the ‘stranger danger’ era of the ’90s. Trust didn’t come easy, and being around people I didn’t know made me uncomfortable for a long time.
I still remember hiding behind my parents when they dropped me off at pre-school. In elementary school, I’d get overwhelmed around big groups of kids. The school play? Terrifying. I felt like I was being thrown into the lion’s den.
Looking back, I grew up in a bubble — same small group of classmates, same sports teams, same extracurriculars. It wasn’t until college that I was truly pushed outside of that comfort zone. Thrown to the wolves, as they say. I didn’t exactly thrive socially at first, but at least the fear began to fade.
Even as an adult in the workforce, though, I still couldn’t shake the nerves. Presenting at a meeting? My heart would pound like it was trying to escape my chest.
They say everyone has an a-ha moment when it comes to breaking through a major fear. For me, that moment didn’t come overnight — it was built over time, through music, experience, and constantly forcing myself to show up despite the fear.
That journey inspired my song “Out of My Shell.” It’s about finally stepping into who you are — even if it takes years to get there.
Lyrics
Drifting alone into the night
Facing the blue return in sight
Silent echoes grip me tight
What will gravity send me?
Unknown territory
Faces all veiled in black
I gaze inside
The tears now cloud my view
Retreat to the shadows
I turn my palm from open hands
I stare outside
The fear drags me to you
I'm never never never
Never going back
An open invitation
I can't I crack
Out of my shell
Out of my shell
Fear all around
Can I break out of my shell?
Out of my shell
Out of my shell
Fear all around
Can I break out of my shell?
Tucked away from the crowd
A guiding hand reaching out
I dive down deep
This time the risk feels right
I shed my fears look past the heights
Clearing all doubts open my sight
Can a passerby please shine a light?
Can I ever say never ever again?
An open invitation
I jump right in
Out of my shell
Out of my shell
Fear all around
Can I break out of my shell?
Out of my shell
Out of my shell
Fear all around
Can I break out of my shell?
Weightless in the quiet I begin to breathe
Untethered from the silence I used to need
Now I discern the colors I couldn’t see
Maybe home was always inside me
Can I ever say never ever again?
An open invitation
I jump right in
Out of my shell
Out of my shell
Fear all around
Can I break out of my shell?
Out of my shell
Out of my shell
Fear all around
Can I break out of my shell?
Out of my shell
Out of my shell
Fear all around
Can I break out of my shell?
Out of my shell
Out of my shell
Fear all around
Can I break out of my shell?